First up was the discovery that a simple lack of confidence in your self can bring a whole part of you crashing down, Never lose confidence in yourself or the lie you just told yourself shall come true! I learnt this the hard way.
The last two weeks i lost all the confidence i had with my study....i couldn't grasp the concepts with school and i felt like i couldn't keep up. The work load seemed too hard, everything the teachers were saying was too fast and i was completely missing whole chunks of information and the homework was a nightmare i actually sat and stared at the same sheet of paper for hours until i brought myself to tears with the realisation that i just didn't know anything! I was stressed out to the max and even tried to completely leave one of my subjects for the fear that i would fail anyway.
Well i certainly learnt my lesson after my exceptionally fantastic legal studies teacher realised the problem and confronted me. We sat down and he gave me tips and suggestions on the essay and told me i would be fine........i sat down last night and finished my essay then warily showed him my draft...assuming i had it completely wrong.........He told me it was fantastic and worthy of an A........how stupid was I!! a whole two weeks of pushing myself down believeing that i couldn't do it anymore! you have no idea how great i feel about myself. I realised today i don't need an A i just need to believe in myself and do my best because at the end of the day that is all i can do.....
The second realisation was that you should only surround yourself with people who provide you with the positives in life.
What is the point of trying to be you and doing things you love if you have people in your life that are just going to push you down and not support you...i have had too many of these people in my life! and from now on i am not interested!
My life is a fairytale.......it is my fairytale and nobody else's......i don't think the way other people do i don't hate...i don't understand why people treat others the way they do....i don't hurt people and if i do it hurts me....thats just who i am! If my life was a movie it would be 'Enchanted'.
But people come along and bring you down that is just life....and for many years i have let people use and abuse me I have let people make me feel insignificant and i have let others push until i give up on what i want!
Not anymore!!! enough is enough....From now on i'm doing what i want i'm believing what i want to believe i'm living my fairytale even if you think what i do is ridiculous, crazy, dumb, silly, clever, brave, insane......this is my life and i'm living it for me!
Well i have had my say and i'm happy to be able to let it out! I'm glad to have learnt these two important things because they will help me on my way to being a new healthier and much happier person!
Love peace and chicken grease :D
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